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03/04/2005: "New Blog/The Lost Ones: Posts 3/4-4/19"
The Lost Ones: Posts 3/4-4/19
Since it looks like the Wordpress blog will never be fixed, I’m posting what I can reconstruct of those blog entries here. (this post edited 4-23-05)
......
What this post used to say:
Check out new, improved blog at [link removed 'cause it's useless]
Enjoy.
(Who knew?)
Anyway, click "more" to see the lost entries.
Quote of the Day (4-10-05)
"You believe a man can change his destiny.
I think a man does what he can until his destiny is revealed."
- from "The Last Samurai"
Great movie!
New Sub Pending (4-10-05)
I’ve got a new sub pending. Today I sent off a longish short story to a new market I found – a sci-fi magazine that publishes in both a print and an online version.
Here’s hoping.
Plagiarized! (4-10-05)
I guess you know you’ve hit the big time when you’ve been plagiarized.
Imagine my surprise when I came across “Alt-Time” (a story of mine) posted on a website for young writers. It even lists my age as 14 which is actually kind of amusing.
I’ve ask the site to remove the story, so if you want to catch it there, hurry over to http://www.cs.bilkent.edu.tr/~david/derya/storys7/story9920.htm
Unbelievable.
Frankly, I’m a little hurt that someone believed my work was that of a 14 year old.
Pat Green’s “Wave on Wave” (4-10-05)
I’ve been listening a lot to Pat Green’s CD “Wave on Wave.” It was the title track that prompted me to buy, but now I’ve discovered several other favs – “Poetry,” “Elvis”, and “If I Was the Devil.”
Here are some choice lyrics from “Poetry”
“I can’t explain a blessed thing
not a fallen star or a feathered wing
How a man in chains has the strength to sing I’ll fly away
Just one thing is clear to me
There’s always more than what appears to be
When the light’s just right I swear I see
Man, it’s poetry.”
“Now somebody made everything
From the soul inside to Saturn’s rings
How my baby smiles and how Ray Charles sings
Of course we were created
The clouds make rain, the ocean makes sand
The earth breathes fire and lava makes land
That took a mighty hand and a wild imagination.”
I love the image of God with a wild imagination. Poetic and true. Very nice.
My Stupid Mouth (4-8-05)
“My Stupid Mouth” – a John Mayer song. Also the story of my life.
Tonight I did it again. I spoke with the friendliest intentions and instead managed to offend the person.
“My stupid mouth has got me in trouble, I said too much again”. (That’s John Mayer, by the way.)
I was in a good mood. I made a joke to an acquaintance in passing. But he didn’t get the joke and thought I was putting him down or something.
What was I thinking? This guy doesn’t know me. He probably doesn’t even know who I am. We certainly aren’t friends.
Sometimes I deal with someone like we’re friends before I remember that we’re not, or that we don’t even know each other, or that there’s some bad blood between us that is so old I didn’t remember it at first.
I’ve gotta learn not to talk to people I don’t know or more importantly, people who don’t know me. I’ve also got to learn to be more careful what I say and to whom. Maybe I’ve gotta just learn to shut up.
Or as John says, “I’m never speaking up again. It only hurts me.”
CarLo Kiss Happy!! (4-8-05)
When I went to check the live thread, there was a post about a CarLo kiss in today’s GH. So I ditched the thread and opted for the eppy instead.
Woo-HOO! Not only do we get CarLo’s first kiss in maybe a year - (it’s been so long since they’ve been together that I’ve lost track) - but we get some choice dialogue, and Lo all misty-eyed and supportive in that fabulous striped suit.
Someone’s gonna have to sweep me off the floor in pieces.
The Marketing of Spring (4-7-05)
It’s spring. Never mind if the weather is cold and rainy like it was a few days ago, the stores say it’s spring, so it must be. The windows are filled with pastels, bright colors and floral prints. The catalogs list colors with names like punch, cantaloupe, and sunshine. It’s all so pretty and happy and new.
And it’s working. The marketing people can pat themselves on the back because I truly feel like I simply MUST buy myself a new spring outfit. I know about the games that advertising plays, how it tries to couple feelings with products – if you buy this, you’ll feel pretty and happy and sunny just like the models in the picture. I know and still they hooked me. Uggh. Sneaky little buggers.
I’m gonna see if I can trick myself though by pulling my spring/summer clothes down from the attic and pretending they’re new. They’ve been up there so long, I don’t even remember what’s there. So it may work. Who knows, maybe I already have a pink jacket like the one I’ve been coveting.
Movies about writing (4-5-05)
Perhaps it’s because I’m a writer but I almost always like movies about writing. For instance, Wonder Boys, Adaptation, The Muse, and more recently Finding Neverland.
What a great movie! Finding Neverland is about how J. M. Barrie wrote the play Peter Pan. The writer happens to meet a widow and her sons. He has no idea at this point that they will be so vital to his writing life. Still, he likes them and begins spending time with them. They engage in imaginative role-playing games, mostly about pirates and Indians. The audience’s view switches between the way things actually are and the way things appear in the imagination of the players. It’s easy to see how these games are the genesis of Peter Pan.
It’s wonderful to watch the process, to see the play in its early and finished stages. It’s especially interesting to see the birth of images and ideas that will find their way into the finished play. For instance, the writer sees the boys jumping on their beds and suddenly imagines them taking flight and soaring out of the window, something that will appear later in the play.
Finding Neverland also has an important lesson for writers - that if you want to create truly great stuff, you have to be willing to look foolish, even childish, possibly even horribly strange.
And on today’s GH… (3-31-05)
not a single moment worth watching.
Seriously, I read the live thread then rewound the video tape back to the beginning.
Battlestar Galactica (3-31-05)
I have become addicted to the new series Battlestar Galactica.
When I first watched the pilot I was on the fence; it had good and bad.
I hated that Number Six seemed to be a blatant rip-off of Seven of Nine, the blonde-babe-with-a-robot-edge from "Star Trek: Voyager." I was annoyed by the similarities between the two characters and their apparent purpose on their respective shows (to spice things up a bit). I hate copy-cats. I also hate it when artistic decisions (characters, plots) seem driven by outside considerations like how best to catch the attention of a channel-surfing guy.
I was also annoyed by the gender-switch of two of the characters - Starbuck and Boomer, who were men in the original series and are now women in the new series. It felt too gimmicky and designed to up the babe quotient. However, I quickly started to like the characters in their new female version.
Early negatives aside, at this point I'm hooked. I can't wait for the season finale to air Friday night. And I’m dreading the long wait for new episodes after that.
There is so much good in this series. It's not "Firefly" or "Babylon Five," but it's pretty close and it's easily the best sci fi currently on TV.
I love that the Cylons in the new series have gotten religion. The juxtaposition of mass violence and deep faith is a startling but powerful one and has special relevance these days. It's hard to reconcile a deep religious belief with murderous intentions, but sadly the two do seem to go together sometimes. (I think that must really infuriate God, that people go around slaughtering in His name, but that's another post entirely.)
The Cylons have become interesting, complex people - something they never were in the original. Not only have they found God, but there seems to be the possibility that they can override their programming. I think that's really interesting. After one Cylon (Sharon) was given a particularly bad beating by her fellow Cylons in the course of furthering their plan, I wanted to see Sharon's loyalties shift. It looks like I may get my wish. It looks like she may choose her human friend over her people (the Cylons). Wouldn't that be something?
One thing I liked from the beginning was the idea of the Secretary of Education, something like 40th in line for the presidency, suddenly finding herself President. It also helped that she's played by Mary McDonnell, an actor I've liked since "Dances with Wolves."
I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s episode.
For more on Battlestar Galactica, visit http://www.scifi.com/battlestar/
CarLo Happy (3-30-05)
I am CarLo Happy and I haven’t even watched the episode yet.
I’ve only read about it in today’s live thread over at the O.
The girls have gone wild over there! Apparently in today’s eppy there’s not just flirting, sexy CarLo, but Lucky’s back tattoo as a bonus.
I can’t wait to watch the show. In fact, right now looks good. Gotta go.
Quote of the Day (3-27-05)
“become a believer”
Maybe it caught my attention because it’s Easter. But then I saw the photo of chicken strips next to the text. It was on a banner in front of McDonald’s.
I’m a little disturbed that we’re using religious longing to sell fast-food.
But I'm not surprised. Advertising often encourages us to develop relationships with products instead of people.
For a great book on the topic check out Deadly Persuasion by Jean Kilbourne.
John Mayer’s “Heavier Things” (3-26-05)
Just got John Mayer’s new CD “Heavier Things.” (OK so maybe it isn’t all that new.)
It has some really good lines in it. (Sure, the music is good too, but as a writer it's the words that sing to me.)
Here are a few choice selections:
“Tell me what I did
I can’t find where the moment went wrong at all.”
That happens to me all the time. I’ll say something that seems perfectly innocuous and then get in trouble for it. Even after my transgression has been explained to me, sometimes I can’t follow the logic. I guess people just take things different. Sometimes, there is a disconnect between what the speaker says and what the recipient hears.
“I was born a housecat
By the slight of my mother’s hand.”
Yep, that’s me. Napping in the sun under the window.
and one last quote
“So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight.”
Reminds me of a scene from a favorite episode of “Quantum Leap.” Sam’s wife back in the future always seeks out a star in the night sky that is the number of light years away that Sam is back in the past. So the light she’s seeing now is from the time where Sam is. That scene gets me every time.
Happy Easter everyone.
Running Mad (3-25-05)
"Run mad as often as you like but never faint."
- from the movie "Mansfield Park"
This is one of my favorite quotes and I guess it came back to me today because the story I just started working on in about running mad.
You can't judge the inside of someone else’s life. (That doesn't stop us from trying, of course.) So sometimes what looks like running mad from the outside is really the cumulative effect of lots of little, unseen things. We think someone has run mad - acted in an extreme way that is inconsistent with what is "known" about their character - because we can’t see inside, can't know the thoughts and experiences that finally hit the tipping point and resulted in a change dramatic enough for the outside world to notice.
Who knows why people do the things they do? I certainly don't. I hardly know why I do the things I do. But it’s a question worth exploring. And that is why I write - because enquiring minds want to know.
Stop Obsessing (3-24-05)
I am trying to learn to stop obsessing about stuff, to learn to be able to act and then let it go. It’s a difficult skill so I expect I’ll need a lot of practice before I master it. Fortunately my life provides plenty such opportunities.
I obsess a lot - about my work (will they like it?), my actions (did I do the right thing?) and people's perceptions of me (what do they think of me?).
I’m realizing that it takes a lot of energy and that I could put that energy to better use.
So, I’m trying to master the art of letting go. People will think what they think and the future will happen as it happens whether I expend a lot of time and energy worrying about it or not.
I need that time and energy for writing.
Here’s a quote I always loved that seems appropriate:
“This tree has no need for you, your doubts.”-Elizabeth Austen in “Fruit Flesh” by Gayle Brandeis
P.S.:
When I went to post this last night, I couldn’t. Blog was saying my password had changed and was now invalid. Guess that was my bonus lesson for the day.
Practice. Practice. Practice. You gotta practice to get good at something.
Today’s Tally (3-19-05)
I hardly know what to do with myself now that the book’s done.
Which means I need to start another project.
Today I finished reading Page After Page (so I could loan it to a writer friend). I also started a list of writing to-dos: markets to check out, ideas to try. I don’t feel quite ready to start on book two. I kind of like the story in its current longish short story form (about 8,000 words). But then I said that about the story that became book one and some of the best stuff was written after I decided to expand the story to novel-length. So maybe I’ll change my mind. But right now I’m going to focus on smaller projects. And try not to think about the subs I’ve got pending.
Almost Spring (3-19-05)
Spring is less than a day away. Yippee. It was even sunny and mild midday when I went out to drop the mail in the box.
I wrote a poem about spring a while back. I’d post it but the sub is still pending. The market has a very long response time, something like six months. I had even forgotten they still have several poems of mine. Of course it’s possible they did send them back and I just never got them. Mail service in my neighborhood is notoriously bad. Although it has approved in recent months.
No (3-19-05)
So that little bit of flash fiction I was waiting to hear back about? I heard. And the answer is no.
I’m not all that upset about it though. The story wasn’t one of my favorites and my book is out there, as yet un-rejected. So I’m still living in hope.
Besides I just read a chapter in Page After Page today on taking rejection in stride. So I’m prepared. Strangely the rejection chapter got mixed with the “How to be Unpopular and Why” chapter in my head. So when I got the no, my first thought wasn’t from the rejection chapter. It was this quote from the unpopular chapter:
“Practice using no as a complete sentence.” (p139)
Heather was talking about how in order to devote sufficient time to writing you have to learn to say no to other things and other people. But right now, the quote says to me that I should just let the no be its own thing and not add other stuff to it that isn’t there - i.e., don’t justify, don’t extrapolate, don’t predict the future, just let it be what it is, one no.
It’s not “No” followed by “and you’re a lousy writer who will never be published ever again.” It’s one story being rejected by one market once. Nothing more.
“Practice using no as a complete sentence.” (p139)
Heather’s on to something there.
(OK, so I liked the quote so much I put it in twice.)
Page After Page by Heather Sellers. Seriously, if you’re a writer, you need this book.
Reading Right Now - Page After Page by Heather Sellers (3-16-05)
Some choice quotes from today’s reading:
"If you take one day off writing, your muse will take the next three.” (p86)
“Here is the secret to life, the secret to writing, and to productivity…When you are cranky, down on yourself, behind, overworked, blue, swamped; when you are saying, I need to write! I don’t have time! I have to write, I’m behind; when you are sick or getting sick or recently sick, you must nap.” (p104)
I knew I liked this woman! In my experience there isn’t a bad mood that can’t be remedied or at least dramatically improved by a nap.
“To get rid of the thing you don’t want, you can’t reject it. You have to go into it further.” (p105)
In other words - got a blue mood? Then roll with it, really give in to it, feel it, give it your full attention. Like a whiny child, giving your mood your full attention will likely soothe it or shut it up. Or as Heather says “This full frontal wallowing makes the mood a little confused. Confusion is good - confusion at least gets the energy moving around.” (p105)
Have I mentioned I love this book!
Here’s a great closing quote for today
“There is only one solution, and it is this: Nap.” (p105)
And that is exactly what I intend to do as soon as I’m done printing off my book.
edited to add: actually I was too excited to take a nap. Man, what a rush.
Book Done (3-16-05)
I did it!
My first novel is done - printed, mailed and on its way to a potential publisher.
Of course, said publisher could say no. But they could also say yes. (Their response time is three months, so it’s gonna be a long spring.)
But right now, I’m not even thinking about that part. Instead I am euphoric with the accomplishment of writing a book, finishing it, and submitting it somewhere. That is a MAJOR accomplishment. I feel like I have just successfully scaled Mount Everest.
It’s a heady time. And right now, I’m just gonna enjoy it, celebrate the accomplishment. Nothing more may come of it; the book may never be published. But still I will have completed and submitted a novel. How many people can say that? It’s an accomplishment that can never be taken from me. And it’s something I am very proud of.
So, for the rest of the day and all tomorrow, I am celebrating by doing whatever I want. I have tomorrow off and tomorrow’s payday, so it’s perfect timing. Maybe go out for breakfast, then shopping and lunch somewhere, a movie. who knows?
Major sub pending. Here’s hoping.
Quote of the day (3-14-05)
(on a young man’s T-shirt)
“I’m not Skipping School
I’m on a self-motivated Field Trip.”
Of course, if he spent more time in school maybe he’d know that in the above sentence “Skipping School” and “Field Trip” shouldn’t be capitalized.
Cool Site (3-12-05)
Found this cool site in Writer’s Digest
http://ourtimelines.com/
For any year or span of years, it gives you a list of historical events, discoveries, who was in power, etc.
Writer’s Digest suggests it for keeping your story historically accurate. But it’s also just plain cool.
Today's Tally/Prove Me Wrong (3-12-05)
I worked on the book some this morning and found ANOTHER mistake that I should have caught fifty edits ago. Uggh.
At least I’m finding them now, not after the manuscript is sent back to me rejected. But still, it’s disheartening.
I was feeling discouraged, so I took a break from editing the book.
To cheer myself up, I pulled out the “White Nights” CD and listened to “Prove Me Wrong” a few times.
Some choice lyrics:
The only way to know yourself is when the hard times come around.
Though I may be down and out
You may not believe
I could fall down twenty flights
and still land on my feet
Just prove me wrong
Throw me in the deep end
Try to hold me down too long
I will come back twice as strong
Prove me wrong
Bowling for Peace (3-12-05)
Went bowling today with Sharon, her boyfriend and his little boy.
Had a great time. Who knew bowling was so much fun?!
Wouldn’t say I really got to know Sharon’s boyfriend. But at least I’ve met him now. And we all had fun together – no confrontations, no accusations, no judgments.
That’s a successful day.
Now, if I can just get some proofing done on that book...
RRN - Why Zebra Don’t Get Ulcers (3-11-05)
Reading Right Now - Why Zebra Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky
First let me say that I’m finally glad to get to the second half of the book where the topics turn to stress-management, coping, etc. Learning all the bad things stress does to you and the varied and multiple ways it can kill you was really stressing me out.
Here are some choice quotes from today’s reading:
If you want to degenerate very fast, secrete a ton of glucocorticoids.” (p.247).
(Glucocorticoids are stress hormones, if you don’t know.)
Sapolsky was talking about “programmed die off” in salmon and marsupial mice; both species die shortly after procreating. And in both cases, their sudden and speedy decline is marked by massive amounts of glucocorticoids in their bloodstream, and a sudden plethora of disease, infection, and malfunctioning. Their systems seem to abruptly lose the ability to regulate stress hormones and instead just keep flooding the system with more, opening the gates for all manner of health problems.
Talk about stress killing you. Thanks for the uplifting chit-chat there, Sapolsky.
“Aging can be defined as the progressive loss of the ability to deal with stress.” (p. 243)
Well, I guess that explains why I’ve gotten grumpier in my old age.
Then there’s this hopeful quote about a wrinkle scientists ran into when studying stress response in people. They had thought that the stress-response would be the same as long as the intensity and duration of the stressors was the same. Not so.
"But this time, when the painful stimulus occurs, the organism under study can reach out for its mommy and cry in her arms. Under these circumstances, this organism shows less of a stress-response.” (p. 254)
A-ha. So even physical stressors can be mitigated by psychological factors. That’s helpful.
Turns out there’s a lot you can do to reduce your response to stress:
• outlets for frustration -although I wouldn’t recommend the displaced aggression that falls under this category, instead try writing or exercise or a punching bag
• social support
• predictability - interestingly enough, even the illusion of control helps
• the perception of things improving – “It’s not the external reality; it’s the meaning you attach to it.” (p. 263)
Now that’s good stuff.
Today’s Tally (3-10-05)
I worked four hours on my novel so far today. Pretty good.
Also got the manuscript boxes I ordered.
So, we’re close to submission time. Maybe just one more pass through to double-check the details.
But right now I’m gonna watch a little TV. I hear there’s CarLo on GH. :) Bring me the good stuff! Don't bring me none of that junk.
In other news, I had lunch with my dad today, which is always nice. I also made plans to finally meet my daughter’s boyfriend of two years. (He’s hasn’t been willing before. Real nervous about meeting the 'rents, this boy is.) We’re supposed to all go bowling together. We’ll see how that plays out. Should be interesting.
CarLo Happy (3-10-05)
Just watched the last two episodes of General Hospital (by which I mean I watched the good parts and fast-forwarded through the considerable dross) and I just wanted to say – there was CarLo and MAN it was good!
Even when the news is bad and the storyline is full of grief and angst, it still makes me happy to watch them. It’s times of trouble that show you who someone is, what they really value, and faced with being arrested and falsely accused of murder, Lorenzo was still all about Carly. Man, I love that.
Gotta get back to work on the book now. This CarLo high is gonna carry me for a while, so I might as well put it to good use.
Updated Tally (3-10-05)
now five hours total on the novel today.
There’s a momentum you build up when you get close to completing a goal. I’m feeling it today.
The Downside of Email (3-7-05)
Don’t get me wrong, I love email. What did we ever do before email? I don’t know. I couldn’t possibly live without it now.
But it does have several downsides, most of which have to do with the fact that it’s not face-to-face.
Since email isn’t live and in-person, it lacks non-verbal clues like body language and tone of voice, making it more likely you’ll be misunderstood. It’s hard to tell whether or not someone is making a joke and speaking in a facetious tone in an email. Perhaps that’s why emoticons were invented.
Also, it’s not immediate. Since you are not addressing your audience in real time, face-to-face, you don’t get the immediate response. You can’t tell if your recipient is offended or didn’t realize you were joking or thinks you’ve crossed the line into too-much-information territory. You can’t see their face, so you don’t know, and you can’t adjust your communication accordingly. Instead you just have to wait until they respond to see if they understood you and what they thought. And that can be torture.
Then there’s the fact that once an email is sent, there’s no getting it back. It’s written down in black and white, time and date-stamped and everything, and can’t be reeled back in. There’s nothing like sending an email, then realizing you probably shouldn’t have. And knowing there’s nothing you can do. You anxiously wait from a response, something to show that everything’s OK, that your email wasn’t misunderstood or offensive or whatever.
The lesson here - think before you send. And write clear. Remember that your recipient can’t see you and can’t hear your tone of voice. All they’ve got are the words on the screen. So make them the right ones.
Is it spring yet? (3-5-05)
Seriously, it’s March. What’s with the cold snap?!
There is snow on the ground. Not a lot of it. Just in patches. But still, there is snow on the ground.
I can’t take it. I’m not a winter person. I’m sick of the cold. I’m sick of having a cold. I just want it to be warm and sunny again.
Today I caught myself thinking – what if I just went down to National and hopped the next plane to someplace warm? Never mind the job, the responsibilities, the expectations – what if I just walked away and went someplace warm?
It’s a crazy thought that I would never act on, but the fact that I had the thought at all shows how far gone I am.
All I’m saying is that if the cold snap doesn’t let up soon, there’s gonna be a Selena snap.
And that’s never a pretty sight.