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05/12/2005: "Bottled Peace"

The house is quiet. I can hear the fan upstairs in the bedroom, birds chirping in the tree out front, and a truck idling on the nearest cross street. The tree obstructs my view of what is going on out there on the street. I can just see the flashing lights and occasionally someone directing traffic, if I sit up enough, which I don’t want to do.

I am cozy. I feel at peace and don’t want to break the magic. I am curled up on the love seat under the window. It’s overcast but still this is the spot with the most natural light coming in.

I feel like sleeping, or actually not quite sleeping, snoozing maybe, maybe just being quiet and still. I hope no one comes to the door. I hope the phone doesn’t ring. I wish I could bottle this peaceful quiet and carry it around in my pocket, taking it out at stressful times and sniffing it like reverse smelling salts.

I want to make it last - this moment where I don’t need anything and nothing is needed from me. No one needs my attention or my money or my help. Everyone is happy and calm. I am happy and calm.

Just the birds, the fan, the idling truck, and the quiet.

Heaven.