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April 09, 2007
Writing: My Will or God's?
Yesterday in Sunday School we listened to a sermon about Gethsemane. Several things struck me, but the one that I have been thinking about most this morning is the part about how our will has to be set aside in favor of God's will. The sermon put it even more strongly: our will must be torn out like a cancer, that it won't go quietly. At one point the preacher even used the term "dreams," that our dreams for ourselves have to die in order for God's dreams for us to become manifest in our lives.
That hit me hard. My mind immediately went to my one remaining dream: seeing myself as a successful, professional, published author. I have given up on and set aside all of my other big dreams. It is only this one that I am still clinging to. I'm holding onto it with desperation and passion. Does God really want me to let this dream go too? It seems like such a cruel thing for a loving God to ask.
Of course, there is also the parable of the talents. Maybe God wants me to use the meager writing talent He has given me in ways that glorify Him. I have tried to do that for the most part, but not everything I've written can be said to glorify God. Maybe that's the problem.
Anyway, it's a quandary, and bears thinking and praying about. At this point I have no answers, only questions.
Posted by Selena at April 9, 2007 11:16 AM